Ah, the joys of StumbleUpon.com. All you have to do is enter in your preferences, click the "Stumble" button, and random web things will pop up that will tickle your fancy and bide your time. Here's the doozy I found today.
http://theuglydance.com/?v=zymruvzrib
Watch it. It's definitely worth it. I can't stop laughing, and I'm at work.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Marvel At My Crafty Craftiness!
I, along with so many other people, have now been sucked into the Pinterest Universe. I mostly use it for recipes, but I have actually gained the confidence to (gasp!) make crafts.
For those of you who know me, you know that my wedding favors were the pinacle of my artistic ability. My mom and I painted wine glasses, were planning on doing a design, but the prototype looked pretty heinous. So, we just painted the bottom of the glass blue, and it basically turned the whole thing blue. I liked it because it didn't have our names on it, and it wouldn't be a random dust collector in someone's house. (We use our's very frequently.) Granted, we weren't very good at mixing the shade of blue, so the glasses themselves vary. Whatever. It was free, people!
So, I considered it my crowning achievement. Until now.
Before you pick your jaws up from the floor, remember that I am a mere mortal, with a mere hot glue gun. And some spray paint.
Yeah, so all I did was hot glue fake hydrangeas and a wooden letter to a grapevine wreath, but this is a big step for me! I found a "autumn wreath" on sale at Wal-Mart for about 50 cents, so I bought one and tore all of the gaudy fake leaves off of it, and made this wondrous wreath. I feel like I can conquer the world! I may make a table! Who the heckdarn knows what I can accomplish?!
For those of you who know me, you know that my wedding favors were the pinacle of my artistic ability. My mom and I painted wine glasses, were planning on doing a design, but the prototype looked pretty heinous. So, we just painted the bottom of the glass blue, and it basically turned the whole thing blue. I liked it because it didn't have our names on it, and it wouldn't be a random dust collector in someone's house. (We use our's very frequently.) Granted, we weren't very good at mixing the shade of blue, so the glasses themselves vary. Whatever. It was free, people!
So, I considered it my crowning achievement. Until now.
Before you pick your jaws up from the floor, remember that I am a mere mortal, with a mere hot glue gun. And some spray paint.
Yeah, so all I did was hot glue fake hydrangeas and a wooden letter to a grapevine wreath, but this is a big step for me! I found a "autumn wreath" on sale at Wal-Mart for about 50 cents, so I bought one and tore all of the gaudy fake leaves off of it, and made this wondrous wreath. I feel like I can conquer the world! I may make a table! Who the heckdarn knows what I can accomplish?!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Yummy, Healthy Things to Make During Gross Winter
Let me preface this by saying that I've fallen victim to the Pinterest Universe. I never thought that I would be sucked in, but it is chock full of neato ideas and crafty things and recipes. I'm also looking for something to occupy my time during the slow season at the hotel.
I found a homemade hummus made with cannellini beans and fresh cilantro. Because I've gorged myself on too many holiday treats, I'm craving healthy foods. Weird, I know!
This requires:
1 Can of Cannellini Beans
2 Tbsp. of Olive Oil
2 Tbsp. of Lemon Juice
1tsp. of Minced Garlic
1 tsp. Cumin
1/2 tsp. of Chili Powder
1/2 tsp. Kosher salt
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
3 Tbsp. Chopped fresh Cilantro
All you do is stick everything in a food processor until smooth. Really hard, I know. But this is so unbelievably yummy, and it tastes better than any store bought hummus I've had (sorry Sabra, I will always love you.) So, we have a tupperware thing of this that we pull out and use as a dip with pita chips or baby carrots, and we use it as a spread for sandwiches and turkey wraps. Yum!
For dinner that night, I made Pioneer Woman's Broccoli Cheese Soup. You can get the recipe here:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/11/broccoli-cheese-soup/
I've made this a few times, and I always divide the ingredients. There are only two of us, after all. But, I made a huge pot of it last night so that we would have many leftovers. Josh and I both took some for lunch today. And with today being 25 degrees, it is quite welcome.
While this simmered I whipped up some Corn Muffins with Ye Olde Jiffy Mix. Comfort food at its finest.
No TV or Movie updates, because I'm too cheap to go to the movies, and new episodes of my shows have been new. I'm seeing Girl with the Dragon Tattoo tomorrow, loved the book. We'll see how it goes!
I found a homemade hummus made with cannellini beans and fresh cilantro. Because I've gorged myself on too many holiday treats, I'm craving healthy foods. Weird, I know!
This requires:
1 Can of Cannellini Beans
2 Tbsp. of Olive Oil
2 Tbsp. of Lemon Juice
1tsp. of Minced Garlic
1 tsp. Cumin
1/2 tsp. of Chili Powder
1/2 tsp. Kosher salt
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
3 Tbsp. Chopped fresh Cilantro
All you do is stick everything in a food processor until smooth. Really hard, I know. But this is so unbelievably yummy, and it tastes better than any store bought hummus I've had (sorry Sabra, I will always love you.) So, we have a tupperware thing of this that we pull out and use as a dip with pita chips or baby carrots, and we use it as a spread for sandwiches and turkey wraps. Yum!
For dinner that night, I made Pioneer Woman's Broccoli Cheese Soup. You can get the recipe here:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/11/broccoli-cheese-soup/
I've made this a few times, and I always divide the ingredients. There are only two of us, after all. But, I made a huge pot of it last night so that we would have many leftovers. Josh and I both took some for lunch today. And with today being 25 degrees, it is quite welcome.
While this simmered I whipped up some Corn Muffins with Ye Olde Jiffy Mix. Comfort food at its finest.
No TV or Movie updates, because I'm too cheap to go to the movies, and new episodes of my shows have been new. I'm seeing Girl with the Dragon Tattoo tomorrow, loved the book. We'll see how it goes!
I Tend to Disappear During the Holidays
This has been quite a Christmas. So much so that it has caused me to hibernate into an abyss-like black hole, cutting all methods of communication. Now, we're forced back into the real world, into the bleak month of January. It's about this time that I hate winter. I really only like winter during Christmas. And even though winter in Charleston is about 50 degrees, I still don't like it. Not one bit.
Now to change the subject completely....
About a month ago, Josh and I made french fries. This endeavor started when we got into an argument about whether or not we needed a french fry cutter. This all started at a marching band competition when, at the funnel cake stand, a guy stuck a potato in a cutter, pulled the lever, and... voila! French fries.
But I digress.
I thought that if we just simply cut the potatoes into fry shape, then fry the fries, it would be the same darn thing. For those of you looking to fry things with the one you love, follow my steps:
1) Pour oil into a deep skillet and then heat up the thing until it looks like molten lava bubbling up. Go big or go home.
2) Let your husband lecture you on how much you burn yourself whilst making meals for him on a normal basis, so let him volunteer himself to take the reins and drop the fries into the magma.
3) Grab a bag of the frozen Gorton's beer battered cod and preheat the oven. When making fries, you really don't have that much effort to make anything else. Plus, fish and chips are a good combo, and this frozen fish was pretty dang good! I wouldn't have even gotten it, but it was on sale at Publix, and I had a coupon. That doubled. I'm cheap.
4) Keep watching Josh wince as he's dropping fries in and taking them out. He took them out when they started floating. Wait for his previous words to bite him in the butt.
5)Put the fish in the oven.
6)Get into an argument about how the Gorton's Fisherman jingle goes. Keep singing it until you're blue in the face.
7) Grab laptop and play the darn commercial on You Tube.
8) When proven the victor, do a dance called the "suck-it dance," whereby you prance around like a Tennessee Walking Horse, and move your arms in a Pee-Wee Herman, "Tequila"- like fashion.
9) Pop a fry in your mouth, then scream about how hot it is.
10) Disregard what you just did and stick another one in your mouth.
11) Console an upset Josh because hot oil has splashed on to his hand, causing a really gross, painful looking burn. Stick his hand under cool running water.
12) Finish the job.
13) Rejoice in homemade fries and home-heated up fish.
There you have it! A sure-fire way to make fries cheaper than it is to buy them.
Now to change the subject completely....
About a month ago, Josh and I made french fries. This endeavor started when we got into an argument about whether or not we needed a french fry cutter. This all started at a marching band competition when, at the funnel cake stand, a guy stuck a potato in a cutter, pulled the lever, and... voila! French fries.
But I digress.
I thought that if we just simply cut the potatoes into fry shape, then fry the fries, it would be the same darn thing. For those of you looking to fry things with the one you love, follow my steps:
1) Pour oil into a deep skillet and then heat up the thing until it looks like molten lava bubbling up. Go big or go home.
2) Let your husband lecture you on how much you burn yourself whilst making meals for him on a normal basis, so let him volunteer himself to take the reins and drop the fries into the magma.
3) Grab a bag of the frozen Gorton's beer battered cod and preheat the oven. When making fries, you really don't have that much effort to make anything else. Plus, fish and chips are a good combo, and this frozen fish was pretty dang good! I wouldn't have even gotten it, but it was on sale at Publix, and I had a coupon. That doubled. I'm cheap.
4) Keep watching Josh wince as he's dropping fries in and taking them out. He took them out when they started floating. Wait for his previous words to bite him in the butt.
5)Put the fish in the oven.
6)Get into an argument about how the Gorton's Fisherman jingle goes. Keep singing it until you're blue in the face.
7) Grab laptop and play the darn commercial on You Tube.
8) When proven the victor, do a dance called the "suck-it dance," whereby you prance around like a Tennessee Walking Horse, and move your arms in a Pee-Wee Herman, "Tequila"- like fashion.
9) Pop a fry in your mouth, then scream about how hot it is.
10) Disregard what you just did and stick another one in your mouth.
11) Console an upset Josh because hot oil has splashed on to his hand, causing a really gross, painful looking burn. Stick his hand under cool running water.
12) Finish the job.
13) Rejoice in homemade fries and home-heated up fish.
There you have it! A sure-fire way to make fries cheaper than it is to buy them.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Serial Killers, I'm On To You....
This week has been a crazy week. No, wait, let me rephrase that. I've been crazy this week. All because of a few articles and viral videos. I have discovered that fear makes you completely irrational.
Here is my harrowing tale.
At the beginning of the week, Tuesday to be exact, I read a little story in Cosmo. It was all about serial killers, how they stalk their victims, and how you can protect yourself.
Holy freaking cow. So, of course, model of intelligence that I am, I decided that I obviously need to be on my guard against serial killers. I start analyzing every guy I see, I change my driving routine on my way home, and I remain alert. A little too alert.
Upon arriving at home, I fell asleep on the couch. Like I always do. Because I'm like an old person. I was woken up by some loud banging next door, and they were screaming someone's name. Of course, I thought that a serial killer was next door. I start locking all the doors, closing the curtains, and trying to be as silent as I possibly could.
That night, I was emptying the dishwasher, and I heard some light tapping on the window looking into the kitchen. Because it's pitch black outside, I can't see anything. However, I do see a gap between the curtains, so I decide to be stealthy and crawl on the floor, slide up the wall, and close the curtains from below. Obviously a serial killer would not think that someone was home after watching the curtains close themselves.
All of a sudden, I hear banging on the window, then banging on the front door, which was locked. I start screaming hysterically, then I crumple to the ground screaming some more, which is clearly the epitome of stealth. Josh bursts through the front door laughing, and I sob. For an hour. Josh was so horrified at my reaction, all he could do was apologize.
I talked about Josh not because he did anything wrong (we mess with each other all the time) but to show how absolutely bonkers I was!
So we move to Thursday night. Josh was in North Carolina with the theatre kids, and I was home alone. I saw on CNN a video that shows someone looking through your Facebook profile. I wanted to see it for myself. Bad idea. BAD BAD BAD idea.
Basically, it shows some crazy psychopath looking at your stuff, stroking the screen, searching for where you live, etc. It was super creepy because he started stroking the screen when it was a picture of me and my cousin's baby, Jackson. I screamed out, "he's a baby, you pervert." It didn't occur to me that it wasn't real. Then it shows him driving to kill you. Yeesh.
I left the hotel at 11PM, making sure no one was in my backseat itching to slice my throat, then I turned on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia really loud, because I didn't think that God would let me die with that show on. I went to the bedroom, because I couldn't keep my eyes open. I proceeded to shut all the doors and close the curtain as tightly as I could. I fell asleep with all of the lights on. And even though our electric bill will be abnormally high, I just felt safer. I was so happy when it was morning, I didn't even mind the crick in my neck from sleeping in an upright position all night.
I think I'm over my serial-killer-phobia, but I don't think having a fear of crazy psychopaths is so strange. It's only in my head when it becomes irrational. Like, a tree turned into a person looming outside the window, rustling leaves became a killer shuffling his feet outside, and a squirrel chirping became his crazy psycho war cry.
You don't have to tell me, I know I'm crazy.
Here is my harrowing tale.
At the beginning of the week, Tuesday to be exact, I read a little story in Cosmo. It was all about serial killers, how they stalk their victims, and how you can protect yourself.
Holy freaking cow. So, of course, model of intelligence that I am, I decided that I obviously need to be on my guard against serial killers. I start analyzing every guy I see, I change my driving routine on my way home, and I remain alert. A little too alert.
Upon arriving at home, I fell asleep on the couch. Like I always do. Because I'm like an old person. I was woken up by some loud banging next door, and they were screaming someone's name. Of course, I thought that a serial killer was next door. I start locking all the doors, closing the curtains, and trying to be as silent as I possibly could.
That night, I was emptying the dishwasher, and I heard some light tapping on the window looking into the kitchen. Because it's pitch black outside, I can't see anything. However, I do see a gap between the curtains, so I decide to be stealthy and crawl on the floor, slide up the wall, and close the curtains from below. Obviously a serial killer would not think that someone was home after watching the curtains close themselves.
All of a sudden, I hear banging on the window, then banging on the front door, which was locked. I start screaming hysterically, then I crumple to the ground screaming some more, which is clearly the epitome of stealth. Josh bursts through the front door laughing, and I sob. For an hour. Josh was so horrified at my reaction, all he could do was apologize.
I talked about Josh not because he did anything wrong (we mess with each other all the time) but to show how absolutely bonkers I was!
So we move to Thursday night. Josh was in North Carolina with the theatre kids, and I was home alone. I saw on CNN a video that shows someone looking through your Facebook profile. I wanted to see it for myself. Bad idea. BAD BAD BAD idea.
Basically, it shows some crazy psychopath looking at your stuff, stroking the screen, searching for where you live, etc. It was super creepy because he started stroking the screen when it was a picture of me and my cousin's baby, Jackson. I screamed out, "he's a baby, you pervert." It didn't occur to me that it wasn't real. Then it shows him driving to kill you. Yeesh.
I left the hotel at 11PM, making sure no one was in my backseat itching to slice my throat, then I turned on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia really loud, because I didn't think that God would let me die with that show on. I went to the bedroom, because I couldn't keep my eyes open. I proceeded to shut all the doors and close the curtain as tightly as I could. I fell asleep with all of the lights on. And even though our electric bill will be abnormally high, I just felt safer. I was so happy when it was morning, I didn't even mind the crick in my neck from sleeping in an upright position all night.
I think I'm over my serial-killer-phobia, but I don't think having a fear of crazy psychopaths is so strange. It's only in my head when it becomes irrational. Like, a tree turned into a person looming outside the window, rustling leaves became a killer shuffling his feet outside, and a squirrel chirping became his crazy psycho war cry.
You don't have to tell me, I know I'm crazy.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Art of the Mini-Series
OK, try not to laugh. I have spent the entire weekend immersed in "The Thornbirds." Yes, the one that's reference when people make jokes about romance with priests. That one.
OK, stop laughing and/or shaking your head right now.
When my friend Carolyn gave me her DVD's (because it's a multi-disc set. Hooray!) to borrow, I thought, "Well, this will give me something to watch when I'm bored." But it was so much more!
I became obsessed with it. Josh had to peel me away from the TV. I don't know what it is! The sweeping love story, the adventure; it's a saga featuring multiple generations of priest lovers! (but not all were sexual. Ahem.)
After reading that last paragraph, I realized that I could write on DVD covers. Just saying. That's compelling stuff.
This tells the tale of a family in Australia who come to live on their aunt's property, Drogheda (don't quote me on the spelling.) because she's super rich and lets them work on the ranch. Her brother and his family, the Clearys, are the only known relatives of said old lady. Who's completely bonkers and is in love with a young priest, Ralph de Bricassaut (again, don't quote me on the spelling)
Ralph ends up having feelings for a nine year old, Meggie Cleary. It's normal at this point, because he seems like he's being priestly to this little girl; it's all innocent. I thought it would be creepy, and a normal person probably would find it so, but I didn't!
You can pretty much guess what happens, Meggie grows up and gets hot, Ralph has to move across the world to the Vatican to escape his emotions. Then she gets married to a loser to forget about Ralph, he acts loser-ish, gets her pregnant, then kind of abandons her. Her friends send her to this private island resort to get her head together, and Ralph comes and they....er....consummate their love. Then he gets all freaked out and leaves again, but gets her pregnant first. Scandalous! Then it jumps ahead nineteen years later, and Meggie/Ralph's lovechild decides he wants to be a priest too, some sad stuff happens, they all come to terms with it, and Ralph dies.
It was so dang sad, and I was so embarrassed at myself for crying alone in my living room about this horny priest. Plus, the movie takes place in Australia, but only one person speaks with an accent. Everyone else is a variation of Irish/American/British, but they all supposedly grew up there. Plus, it's super 80's-tastic.
But after pondering my tempest of emotions, I have come to a realization: mini series are the bomb. How else can you fit the entire plot of a novel (Most mini-series are novels) into a film format? If it became a movie, you would have to cut a ton of it, and if it became a TV Show, well, it wouldn't end until the show ended. Which could take years!
I told my mom that I was watching The Hornbirds, and she turned into a puddle of sentiment. Mini-series evoke something in us, because we can become completely immersed for 8-15 hours, then go on with our lives. I will never forget watching Lonesome Dove. I read the book, and they kind of nailed it, script wise. Plus, my mom will never shut up about North and South, with Patrick Swayze. Mini-Series became sort of a phenomenon in the 70's and 80's, and now they're gone.
At least now I have Downton Abbey, but it's only airing in England right now, and I don't have fancy cable channels. Man, BBC has it right with all those dang mini-series!
Please, TV Land executive people, humor this cheesy dork and make more mini-series!!
OK, stop laughing and/or shaking your head right now.
When my friend Carolyn gave me her DVD's (because it's a multi-disc set. Hooray!) to borrow, I thought, "Well, this will give me something to watch when I'm bored." But it was so much more!
I became obsessed with it. Josh had to peel me away from the TV. I don't know what it is! The sweeping love story, the adventure; it's a saga featuring multiple generations of priest lovers! (but not all were sexual. Ahem.)
After reading that last paragraph, I realized that I could write on DVD covers. Just saying. That's compelling stuff.
This tells the tale of a family in Australia who come to live on their aunt's property, Drogheda (don't quote me on the spelling.) because she's super rich and lets them work on the ranch. Her brother and his family, the Clearys, are the only known relatives of said old lady. Who's completely bonkers and is in love with a young priest, Ralph de Bricassaut (again, don't quote me on the spelling)
Ralph ends up having feelings for a nine year old, Meggie Cleary. It's normal at this point, because he seems like he's being priestly to this little girl; it's all innocent. I thought it would be creepy, and a normal person probably would find it so, but I didn't!
You can pretty much guess what happens, Meggie grows up and gets hot, Ralph has to move across the world to the Vatican to escape his emotions. Then she gets married to a loser to forget about Ralph, he acts loser-ish, gets her pregnant, then kind of abandons her. Her friends send her to this private island resort to get her head together, and Ralph comes and they....er....consummate their love. Then he gets all freaked out and leaves again, but gets her pregnant first. Scandalous! Then it jumps ahead nineteen years later, and Meggie/Ralph's lovechild decides he wants to be a priest too, some sad stuff happens, they all come to terms with it, and Ralph dies.
It was so dang sad, and I was so embarrassed at myself for crying alone in my living room about this horny priest. Plus, the movie takes place in Australia, but only one person speaks with an accent. Everyone else is a variation of Irish/American/British, but they all supposedly grew up there. Plus, it's super 80's-tastic.
But after pondering my tempest of emotions, I have come to a realization: mini series are the bomb. How else can you fit the entire plot of a novel (Most mini-series are novels) into a film format? If it became a movie, you would have to cut a ton of it, and if it became a TV Show, well, it wouldn't end until the show ended. Which could take years!
I told my mom that I was watching The Hornbirds, and she turned into a puddle of sentiment. Mini-series evoke something in us, because we can become completely immersed for 8-15 hours, then go on with our lives. I will never forget watching Lonesome Dove. I read the book, and they kind of nailed it, script wise. Plus, my mom will never shut up about North and South, with Patrick Swayze. Mini-Series became sort of a phenomenon in the 70's and 80's, and now they're gone.
At least now I have Downton Abbey, but it's only airing in England right now, and I don't have fancy cable channels. Man, BBC has it right with all those dang mini-series!
Please, TV Land executive people, humor this cheesy dork and make more mini-series!!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Faith
I've always wanted to use this blog as a medium to tell all of you about the books I read, mainly because I want to discuss them! There are many times where I'll read something crazy in a book, gasp, and then look around and see Josh staring at me. So I need someone to relate to when it comes to books, and maybe get recommendations. Agreed?
I just read Faith by Jennifer Haigh, and I can not describe how stirred I was by this book. It deals with a very controversial and prevalent issue today: child molestation accusations of Catholic priests.
Now, mind you, this isn't really a statement on the Catholic church. It's a story of what happens when accusations get thrown around. Father Arthur Breen has been accused of molesting a child, and this book tells of how his working class Boston family deals with the news. His mother is refusing to hear anything that doubts his innocence, his brother, with two small children of his own, has completely cut off Arthur, and Sheila, his sister (and from the point of view that this story is told) believes he's innocent, but is on a search for the truth. The family also has many secrets of their own, and the secrets they hold influence their reactions to the news.
Arthur has been kicked out of the parish, the only world he's ever known, and is living in a small apartment that the Boston archdiose is paying for. He feels lost.
The church, instead of conducting an investigation, just shuffles Arthur around and throws money at the issue. It's a problem whether the priests are guilty or not, because if innocent, no defense is provided, and they are deemed monsters. If they are guilty, no investigation is conducted to convict them.
In a nutshell, it shows how a simple accusation can destroy a person's life. You see the effects of this right up until the heartbreaking ending. I actually caught myself sobbing in a parking lot in the car whilst waiting for Josh. I'm a bonehead.
Read it. It's good.
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