I Tend to Disappear During the Holidays

This has been quite a Christmas. So much so that it has caused me to hibernate into an abyss-like black hole, cutting all methods of communication. Now, we're forced back into the real world, into the bleak month of January. It's about this time that I hate winter. I really only like winter during Christmas. And even though winter in Charleston is about 50 degrees, I still don't like it. Not one bit.

Now to change the subject completely....

About a month ago, Josh and I made french fries. This endeavor started when we got into an argument about whether or not we needed a french fry cutter. This all started at a marching band competition when, at the funnel cake stand, a guy stuck a potato in a cutter, pulled the lever, and... voila! French fries.

But I digress.

I thought that if we just simply cut the potatoes into fry shape, then fry the fries, it would be the same darn thing. For those of you looking to fry things with the one you love, follow my steps:

1) Pour oil into a deep skillet and then heat up the thing until it looks like molten lava bubbling up. Go big or go home.

2) Let your husband lecture you on how much you burn yourself whilst making meals for him on a normal basis, so let him volunteer himself to take the reins and drop the fries into the magma.

3) Grab a bag of the frozen Gorton's beer battered cod and preheat the oven. When making fries, you really don't have that much effort to make anything else. Plus, fish and chips are a good combo, and this frozen fish was pretty dang good! I wouldn't have even gotten it, but it was on sale at Publix, and I had a coupon. That doubled. I'm cheap.

4) Keep watching Josh wince as he's dropping fries in and taking them out. He took them out when they started floating. Wait for his previous words to bite him in the butt.

5)Put the fish in the oven.

6)Get into an argument about how the Gorton's Fisherman jingle goes. Keep singing it until you're blue in the face.

7) Grab laptop and play the darn commercial on You Tube.

8) When proven the victor, do a dance called the "suck-it dance," whereby you prance around like a Tennessee Walking Horse, and move your arms in a Pee-Wee Herman, "Tequila"- like fashion.

9)  Pop a fry in your mouth, then scream about how hot it is.

10) Disregard what you just did and stick another one in your mouth.

11) Console an upset Josh because hot oil has splashed on to his hand, causing a really gross, painful looking burn. Stick his hand under cool running water.

12) Finish the job.

13) Rejoice in homemade fries and home-heated up fish.

There you have it! A sure-fire way to make fries cheaper than it is to buy them.