I woke up that morning not able to feel the left side of my face, and my eye wouldn't close. I thought that I had just laid on it and it would go away, but as the day progressed I knew that something was sort of messed up.
I went to the doctor right after work, and I got diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. I had never heard of it before, but basically it just means that the nerves in the facial muscles get inflamed and that side of the face becomes unresponsive and numb. It could go away in a month, in six months, or it may not go away at all. But, the good doctor was pretty optimistic that I'd be back to my goofy self eventually.
Now, I know that the majority of you think that I'm doing this on purpose, but this is literally what I look like.
You can laugh; it's pretty funny. The night Josh saw me, he told me that my face was stuck that way because of all of the stupid faces I've made before. Last night, he told me that I could "totally"audition for the role of Two-Face. Har.
As a result of my eye not being able to close, I have to tape it shut every night, and fill it with this stuff called "Lacri-Lube." Sexy stuff. I also have a hard time keeping my mouth closed when I eat, because my cheeks and lips are so weak, so food and liquid dribbles out. Even sexier stuff.
So, if you tell me a joke that I would normally laugh heartily at, but don't, please don't be offended. I just don't want to terrify you with my menacing grin. Or, if I smile at you all crooked-like, don't think I'm being a snob and giving you a sarcastic smirk, I'm not. I just can't move my face that way!
So, if you think someone is giving you the stink eye, or a dirty look, or you think they have awful table manners, give them a chance. They might just have faulty wiring, like me!
